Pastor Jim Furnas

Today I became aware that a great man who had an enormous impact on my husband and I, starting over 15 years ago, has passed away. As it is a time to be sad for everyone he has left behind, it is also a day to rejoice that Pastor Jim Furnas, a true man of God, has received his well deserved opportunity to walk through the gates of heaven and meet Jesus face to face. He is receiving his heavenly rewards for the huge impact he has made in this world, all in the name of Jesus Christ.

It all started over 15 years ago. My husband and I had been engaged for several months and I was pregnant with our first child. I was at a point where I was about to give up hope on finding a pastor to marry us in a church. Because I was pregnant and not married, we had been told by pastors that they couldn't marry us and that we couldn't even use their church. It was very discouraging because the Bible I was raised by talks of love and acceptance. I didn't feel loved by these pastors and I certainly didn't feel accepted. This all happened to us for a reason. God was just guiding us to a specific place where he had amazing people just waiting to take us in. We were referred to the Nazarene Church where we met Pastor Jim Furnas. Right up front, we made him aware of the fact that I was pregnant. I remember his reaction to be surprising because of what we had been told by others. It didn't catch him off guard in the least. It wasn't even an issue to him. In fact, he didn't even react to the news at all, aside from congratulating us. That was a first.

As is customary, we were required to attend church and to meet with Jim during the weeks leading up to our wedding. Our meetings were filled with information about marriage according to God's word, wisdom from Jim's personal experiences, encouragement for us to make the right decisions and hold true to our vows and stick through the hard times, and even just some friendly conversations between us as friends. This man really made me feel accepted and loved, despite the fact that I had gone against God's word and become pregnant before marriage. He assured us that God's love for us never fails, no matter what decisions we make in life. We are all human and born sinners. That's the beauty of Christ's gift of eternal salvation. He took the punishment for us so that when our human nature takes over and we make unwise decisions, we are forgiven and he will ultimately use our mistakes and turn them into good, as long as we love him and walk with him. Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

On July 26, 1997, Pastor Jim Furnas proudly stood before us and pronounced us husband and wife. God made our dream of being married in a church, by a pastor, come to reality with the help of Pastor Jim. We continued to attend Church of the Nazarene after our wedding. The church as a whole really took us in and made us a part of their family. After our son was born, they threw us a baby shower to welcome him into the world and into their family. Not only did Jim officiate our wedding, but he also performed our sons dedication ceremony in front of the entire congregation on a Sunday morning. Who better to help us dedicate our son to the Lord than the first pastor to accept us conceiving him out of wedlock.

My husband later got a job out of town and we moved our family about an hour away. We found a church to attend in our new town.We did occasionally visit our family at the Nazarene Church when we were in town visiting family. Pastor Jim was later called to serve at a church further away and we ended up losing touch with his family.

The news of his passing really caught me off guard. I'm deeply saddened for his beautiful wife, their children, and all of those whose lives he has touched. At the same time, I rejoice for Pastor Jim, for he has received the highest honor of meeting Jesus, face to face. I'm certain his rewards in heaven are many, and I'm certain he was greeted at the heavenly gates by a multitude of people that had the honor of knowing him during their time on earth.

Lesson Learned

WOW! This whole blog site is completely different since I last posted. This may take some getting use to. It seems as if once I figure a format out on any website, the creators go and change it all around on me.

This morning as I was getting ready for my husband to pick me up for org. day, I did a lot of thinking. I'm not sure where it all came from, but I'm pretty sure God has his hand in it.

Lately a lot has been going on within my husband's unit and with my husband personally. He hasn't been home much due to them tasking him out with everything under the sun. Add that to the fact that he's the only one licensed to do ammo, and he has a soldier that he is constantly having to babysit for. I guess they just figure that they know he will get the job done effectively without having to explain anything to him, so they throw everything his way. There's a lot more to the story, but I won't go into that. With all this going on, I have become bitter with this unit for keeping him at work longer than necessary, and longer than most everyone else for that matter. I've also become irritated at the soldiers that keep screwing up and forcing my husband to be gone even longer so he can babysit for them.

This morning it hit me. If my husband is having such a bad experience with this unit lately, what's to make me think that they aren't all having a hard time. It's very possible that the circumstances surrounding these soldiers are just making them feel like giving up. My husband has the benefit of having a wife and kids to come home to at night. He has a wife that's always available when he needs to talk. Some of these soldiers don't have any family around at all. Of course they have their army family, but sometimes that's just not enough. It's not the same as having a life long companion that you can always count on, or like having a family member that you've spent a better part of your life with. Plus, I've noticed that it's really hard for some soldiers to separate their army life and their personal life. After all, they live army on a daily basis.

Once again, I've been reminded that we go through things to better us as individuals. These last few months haven't been the easiest, but I have learned a lesson. I'm not going to spend my time being angry and frustrated that things are so messed up with this unit. Instead, I'm going to pray for those who are making it unbearable at times. I'm going to pray for those soldiers that seem to be having personal issues that are leading them to behaviors that take my husband away from home. At the end of the day, he is coming home to his family, however late that may be.

Welcome Home!

I really did have good intentions when I first started this blog. In my mind, I was committed to keeping up with my posts regularly. It worked out well for a while. Unfortunately, life sometimes has other plans. I got so busy keeping up with everything that I let my blog fall by the wayside. I have several postings that I started, but got interrupted and never finished them. There were also times when I would sit down to write and was too tired. I couldn't think of anything to say. That's a strange one for me, by the way. I always have something to say.

Here I am today, with a little time on my hands. I finally have a day with no plans, no agenda, no expectations. It's just me with some unexpected free time. I should probably go knock on some wood after saying that. I never know what could pop up out of the blue. With that said, my husband popping in early from work would be great!

I honestly can't even remember everything that's happened since my last post. These past few months have been full of my kid's school, theater rehearsals, hula practices, everyday life, among other things. This past month I started taking online classes to work towards my associates degree as an educational paraprofessional. That just added more to my schedule, but I'm glad I finally got the courage to take classes. It's been 15 years since I've been in a classroom, though this time it's a virtual classroom. I was told by many people that online courses are harder than going to a university and sitting through class. That may be the case in their situation, but not mine. I actually love online classes. I have the flexibility to do my work when I have the time and motivation. The only time constraints are the seminars. There's only one a week per class and they only last an hour. If something does happen to come up and I can't be there, there's a second option to make up for it. I rather enjoy the experience and for me, the work is not hard. As long as I'm focused while I'm working, it just seems to come. When I get frustrated I just log off and find something else to do until I can concentrate again. Not to mention I can attend in my pj's if I want to.

The most important thing that has happened since my last post is... My husband is finally home! Just one week ago, I was sitting at the gulch (that's where we meet them) for an hour, impatient as I'll get out, ready to wrap my arms around my soldier. That was probably the longest hour of my entire life. It was also the best day of the last 366 days prior. I don't even have the words to describe how amazing it felt when he was released from formation. As soon as they were dismissed, maybe a couple seconds before, I took off running straight into his arms. That moment was completely worth the 12 month wait.

I have learned from past experience to put aside any and all expectations of post deployments. A person would think that life after a deployment would be all roses and sunshine. That's what I thought the first time around. I expected everything to go back to normal, like it was before he left. Maybe I even thought every day life would be better. For the first week or so, it was close to my expectations. We were just so happy to be back together. However, life seems to have a way of moving forward, regardless of circumstances. After that first week, I started seeing changes in both my husband and myself. We had both moved forward during that 9 months, but not together. He faced things while he was away that had changed him. Things, that in my opinion, no one should have to go through. At the same time he was changing, the kids and I were too. Kids grow up quickly and in 9 months a lot can change in their lives. As a parent we grow up with them in a sense. We adapt to their changes, thus changing us too. Trying to mesh all those changes together is no easy feat. Add to that our all to soon vacation. Before we had time to get reacquainted we hit the road to visit family for a few weeks. Though we were happy to see everyone, it was very hectic. Very bad timing on our part. Being so busy trying to keep up with everyone and visit so many people made for very little time for us to reconnect. Everyone wanted their chance to see my husband, which I completely understood and respected, but that left us with little time to reconnect. Towards the end of our visit we left our kids with family and took a trip, just the two of us. We really needed that time alone together. In time, we did overcome it all to get our family into a routine that worked for all of us. I learned from that experience that it's so much easier to stay home for a little while before taking on too much. We need to spend time getting to know each other and getting into a routine before anything else.



Deployments are never fun. I won't hesitate to blurt out that DEPLOYMENTS SUCK! However, God has a plan and a purpose for my family, as he does every family. His plan for us just so happens to include our Army life and everything that comes along with it. I have to say that I would not give back any of our experiences, even the deployments, for anything. If it weren't for the Army we wouldn't have met so many amazing people. We never would have dreamed of living in Hawaii. My husband and I wouldn't be as close as we are today. Our kids wouldn't be able to experience so much in their young lives. Most of all, we wouldn't be this close to God because we would have been way off his plan for our lives.

Now that he's home for a while, hopefully a long while, we can get on with our family life. We can move on to the next chapter that God has written for us.

The Past 4 Months Part 2

I'll need to backtrack briefly just a few days, which is good in my eyes because that would mean my husband was still home. Nov. 29th we made yet another trip to the airport. I've been to the airport more times in the past 2 years than I've been to any airport in my entire life before moving here. That's actually a good thing. I love having family and friends comes to visit. It's just the return trip to drop them back off that's no fun. I'm no good with goodbyes. You'd think a person would get use to it at some point, but it never fails to make me cry. Anyhow, we went to the airport to pick up my parents. They came to stay with us for 6 weeks. Those were probably the busiest 6 weeks of the year. Again, a good thing! The faster time flies by, the sooner it seems my husband will be home. He was here for a few days while my parents were here, but all too soon we were headed back down the highway to the airport. This time for the not so great reason. Actually, the worst reason ever!

Looking back, the time my parents were here was more like a staycation for me than a vacation for them. They helped out around the house with everything, and I do mean everything. They helped with laundry, dishes, cooking, mowing the yard, and taking care of the kids just to name a few things. It was so nice to have the help and get a little break from everything. Don't get me wrong, I still did some of it too, but not near as much as I have to do on a daily basis when it's just me and the kids. It was great waking up to my dad already having the coffee ready too. I won't lie, I probably took advantage of it a little bit. They know how thankful I am for everything they do for us though. God certainly blessed me with the greatest parents.

I'm not really even sure where to start with everything we did while they were here. I won't bore you with all the details, just the highlights for us. My mom had been walking at home in order to prepare for hiking. Her goal was to make it to the top of Diamond Head. With that goal accomplished, we also hiked to Kaena Point to see the sea lions and to the top of Pu'ukea. I think that's the name of it. My mind is drawing a blank right now. We got plenty of exercise while they were here. I can't remember but maybe 4 days total where we didn't go anywhere. Pretty much every day we found something to do. The kids each took a turn going to breakfast with Grandpa. I took my mom to lunch one day and my dad to dinner on another day. We drove around looking at Christmas lights. We went to Honolulu Hale to see the lights and to get our pictures taken with Santa. We took the tour of lights at Pearl Harbor. We went to Waikiki a few times. Of course we ate out several times and we did not have a shortage of ice cream going into our bodies.

I forgot to mention that while Trint was still home and my parents were here, Shay and Syd had performances we got to enjoy. Shay had a Hula performance and Syd was in a theater and chorus performance. They both did great and were fun to watch. Daddy actually got to participate in the theater performance too. He played a soldier along with three other dads. All they did was walk up on the stage in uniform and stand there, but Syd was so excited to have daddy there. At the end of Shay's Hula, they had the parents come up and do the Cupid Shuffle hula style with our kids. That was interesting. I'm not one to get up in front of people, but I did it. I grabbed my husband's arm and dragged him up there with us too. I was not going alone!  The day after daddy left we got to watch Tristan perform with his school band in a Christmas band concert. He's the one standing in the back with drum sticks. It was several schools combined and made for a long evening, but they all did a wonderful job and afterwards we enjoyed some ice cream!

January came all too fast, and it was time, once again, to head back to the airport for yet another goodbye. Okay so maybe for the reason of my husband coming home soon, it was not too fast, but for the reason of my parents leaving, it was too fast. It's kind of a catch 22. So now that Christmas break is over and the new year has begun, things are getting back into somewhat of a routine. The kids are back in school and the girls are back in their Skies classes preparing for their next performances this spring. Now we're just waiting for daddy to come home. It won't be much longer now.

The Past Four Months, Part 1

When I started this blog around the time my husband deployed, I did it thinking that it was a good way for him to keep up with our daily lives back home. It was also an outlet for me to write down my thoughts and share a little bit of what life as an Army family is like. I had decided up front that I wouldn't stick to any particular theme, but simply write down what was going through my mind and what I felt like sharing in the moment. I kept it up for several months, but at some point, for some unknown reason, I just quit. I don't know if I was just too busy, or tired, or just didn't know what to write. Maybe a little bit of all of it. Whatever the case, I'm back now, for the time being anyhow.

So much has happened since my last post. Seeing as that was close to 4 months ago it's no wonder. Honestly with this memory of mine, or lack there of, I can't even remember everything that has happened. I'll briefly share some of the highlights. Okay who am I kidding? Brief? I guess we'll see...

In October I had signed up with a friend to run in the "Strides Against Breast Cancer" 5k. Unfortunately my friend's child ended up getting sick so she wasn't able to go. I'm not one to go to big events alone. For some reason or other I feel out of place when I'm alone in a crowd. This time though, I decided to suck it up, say a prayer for strength, and conquer my fear. As always I arrived there early. I hate being late so I almost always end up early. Not always a good thing. It was a little rainy and pretty wet out so I just stood around waiting. Luckily during a deployment I never go anywhere without my phone in case my husband has a chance to call. That gave me something to do while I waited. Before the race started I heard someone call my name. I just figured that someone else was there with the same name and I didn't turn around. I heard it again so I looked up and to my surprise they were calling to me. Two of my "sisters" from here on the island were running in the 5k too. I was so happy to have someone to run with. Not only did God give me the strength to conquer my fear of going alone, but he went the extra mile and gave me someone to run with, two someones in fact. It's a miracle in itself that we even crossed paths with all the people in attendance. Together we ran/walked the 5k and had a great time together.

Halloween also happened during my blog absence. I'm not one to dress up for Halloween, though occasionally I do. This year I hadn't planned to. My kids were begging me to find something out of the usual to wear so after a little thought and a look in my closet, I decided I had everything I needed to be a biker babe. I knew my husband would appreciate that since he loves Harley's and we were planning on getting him one after his deployment. I called my friend that we were planning on trick or treating with and got her on board too. The only thing we were missing were bandanas so she stopped and got us each one before coming over. We got our kids, with the exception of Tristan who was already out with his freinds, and ourselves ready, took pictures, and headed over to her house to start knocking on doors. Part way through our evening Trint called on skype so he got to walk with us for a little while too. I love it when he gets to join us, even if he is only on the phone and thousands of miles away. He gets to make memories with us even from a great distance.

The number one event that has happened in the past 4 months... My husband came home for r&r! That had to be the best two weeks of the entire year. After about 8 months he was back under our roof, sleeping in our bed, eatting at our table, sitting on our furniture, having fun with our family! We were living a complete daily life once again.
                                         
 During his first few days home we decided to go look at the South Seas in anticipation of getting him a Harley once he was home for good. However, it did not work out the way we had expected at all. Once we got there he saw the perfect bike, a Fat Boy, the exact bike he was wanting. And... it was blue, his favorite color and the exact color I wanted to get him. Just out of curiousity we asked about the price and if they happen to match the prices that our soldiers can get while deployed. Our answer wasn't what we expected. The salesman said yes. My husband gave him the numbers that he was quoted overseas and the salesman took those numbers to the finance guy. We honestly thought it was too good to be true and that we'd be walking out of there with a plan in mind for when this deployment was finally over with. Not so. The numbers were approved and within 20 minutes we were the proud owners of the perfect Harley. I am so happy that my husband finally got his Harley after all these years of waiting. We spent much of the rest of his R&R on his bike, while the kids were in school of course.

When the kids weren't in school we just spent time together as a family, doing what families do. We got to spend Thanksgiving together, went to Wet-n-Wild for Tristan's belated birthday surprise, went to Waikiki, played games, watched movies, and so much more. My parents flew in towards the end of R&R so my hubby and I had the opportunity to go to Waikiki for a night while the kids stayed home and spent some time with Grandma and Grandpa. A wonderful friend of mine had a voucher for a free night in a hotel and she blessed my hubby and I by passing it along to us. We sure have made some amazing friends here on the island.
Unfortunately our two weeks had to come to an end. The kids decided it was much easier to say goodbye to daddy here at home and stay with Grandma and Grandpa while I took him to the airport. Let me just say that I'm really glad they made that decision. I highly doubt I could have been strong for them. I know I wasn't strong for myself or my husband. It was the most awful terrible goodbye ever. It's always hard to watch him walk away, but this time was the worst. After he walked through the tunnel and was out of sight I went outside and watched the plane. I just stood there until it was completely out of sight, crying the whole time. I later found out that he was in the plane, on the side facing where I was, watching me too. I tried my best to gather my thoughts and walked back to my truck. I convinced myself that I had cried enough and I drove home in a daze, just wishing I could turn back time. That or push time forward and jump back out of my truck and welcome him home for good. I prayed the whole way home that God would just keep him safe for the next few months and bring him back home to us once again. To be continued....