Romance

I was talking to a friend today who said something that has stuck with me all day. I don't even remember the words she used, but she said romance and deployment in the same sentence. It suddenly struck me that she had a point. All day I've been thinking about our past two deployments and how we got through them. Looking back, I see now that it did have it's romantic moments. Not the kind of romance you get when you walk home and there's rose petals on the floor with candles lit all around, or the kind of romance you get when you're all alone with your spouse walking the beach at sunset, but more like an emotional romance. The kind that melts your heart and makes it skip a beat just from hearing three little words, "I love you".

On an average day people get up, go to work, come home, have dinner and go to bed. Of course we work other things in when we can, but a lot of time it's pretty much a routine that we get into. When your spouse is deployed the routine that you consider normal for your family is completely broken to pieces. As the one left behind we now have to take care of our normal responsibilities along with all of our deployed spouses responsibilities. Add into that we are the sole caretakers of our children. Even more, we have to be ready at any minute to drop what we're doing because our spouse finally had a chance to call us. It sounds like a lot and really it is, but we do it because it has to be done. For me, it makes me feel good about myself to accomplish all these tasks because I'm doing it for my husband who wishes he could be here to help. I'm doing it because I want to take care of him and make sure he has absolutely nothing to worry about except what's right in front of him in the midst of all things army. All of this sounds like anything but romance until...

The phone rings. My heart starts pounding as I pray that it's him. I run to the phone as fast as I can and I see the crazy row of numbers lined up across the screen that look nothing like a normal phone number. I instantly know that it's him and my heart jumps out of my chest with excitement. I answer the phone with "I love you, I love you, I love you". Seriously, I really do answer the phone like that when I'm sure it's him. Is that not a romantic sentiment? Throughout the entire conversation we must say "I miss you" and "I love you" 20 times or more. We can be in the middle of a conversation and one of us will just blurt out "I love you". The conversation then continues as before. Who does that on a daily basis when you are going about your routine of a day. We often talk about memories from the past that bring a smile to our faces or about the future and things we would love to accomplish together. These are things we talk about all the time while he's deployed, only occasionally when he's home. When he's home we talk about how our day went, what we want for dinner, who's going to help with the homework (usually ends up being him on that one) etc. Nothing really deep like our feelings for each other. Occasionally we do but that all ends up getting taken for granted sometimes. If we're on web cams we sometimes just sit and look at each other without words. Words aren't needed because we're feeling the love that's coming from the other end of that camera. How many times have you sat in front of your spouse for a long period of time and just took in the amazement of his beautiful blue eyes, the smile that you can't help but smile back at, or the little smile wrinkles on the outer corners of his eyes that remind you of all the happy times you've had together. I can say that doesn't happen on a regular basis when we're going through our routine of a day. During deployments it happens on a regular basis. How often do you sit down and write a letter to your spouse, something they can hold on to and read over and over again? You don't have to because he's right there and if you have something to say you just say it. During deployments that luxury isn't there. We write each other letters that we can pull out on a rough day to remind us that no matter the distance they are here for us. They are praying for us and loving us like we are them. Just waiting for the day when we can experience that first kiss all over again. And about first kisses. How many people can say that they have experienced a first kiss with the same person dozens of times. Everyone that has gone through a deployment can surely say that. Every homecoming kiss is like a first kiss all over again.

So you see, deployments shouldn't be looked at as these horrible terrible experiences that have no purpose. Of course we would all decline to embarq on a year of seperation if we had the choice, but given the fact that we don't have a choice, we can make the best of it. We can look at all the good things that come out of it. If you look deep enough, there are so many things about a deployment that bond us closer to our husbands/wives than anyone in the civilian world could ever understand. God has a purpose for every single soldier that is over there fighting for our country. He has a purpose for all of the spouses and children that are left behind. If you let Him, He will use the opportunity to draw you closer as a couple and closer as a family. Maybe He wants to use you to help other spouses going through the same thing. There are a multitude of reasons that could be. You just have to look deep and find that reason. It makes it all worth while in the end.

So as you face a deployment, or even separation for military training, or possibly you're not even military and your spouse travels a lot for a job, take the time to look deep and find the romance that comes out of the situation. It makes the rough days apart a lot more bearable when you look at the bright side of things.