About Time

We finally got Trint's leave date yesterday. In some ways it's a relief to finally know when he's leaving. On the other hand, it really brings it all to reality. Yesterday was not such a great day for me. I was on the verge of tears pretty much all day. I really wish I could figure out why it's affecting my emotions so much more this time. I just don't get it. We've gotten through two deployments without any major catastrophies.

I think the worst thing that has happened on a deployment, that I can remember anyhow, would be our lawn mower going out on me.  I had a fabulous friend, Stephanie (love you Steph), that helped me fix it twice before it decided on the third time to just not start at all. We were at Ft. Hood so all I had to do was drive to lawn and garden and check one out for the day. Not a major deal at all considering really all I had to do was take orders to housing and they would have came to mow it for me during the deployment anyhow. I had options. I just decided to do it myself because I'm stubborn like that. If I'm capable of doing it myself than I will not ask for help. God gave me arms, legs and a healthy body so I may as well use them. The only thing other than that was last deployment when my beautiful Grandma passed away. God was working on our side then too. Trint was home for r&r when that happened so I didn't have to go through that alone. What an awesome God we serve!

Of course I hate being away from my husband and I hate that he has to experience the hardship of being away in such harsh conditions. My concern is for him. I can handle whatever is thrown my way back here. I have friends, family, church and army resources if anything should come up. On the other hand, my husband is on the other side of the world facing who knows what on a daily basis. He's really the one about to face the unknown, not the kids and I. It doesn't help that I'm the type of person that likes to know what's going on and to be there for my husband. I can't possibly do that to my liking from thousands of miles away. My husband is the type that wants to protect my feelings and keep me from worrying so he doesn't ever let on if things are bad over there either. I suppose that's for the best, but sometimes I wonder what really is happening with him. It's just a bunch of mixed emotions all the way around.

Regardless of anything else, I have the security that God is in control and he won't throw anything our way that we can't handle. "For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11