Here's my answer to a question I have been asked more than a couple of times. "Are you going home while Trint's deployed?" I understand that everyone is at a different place in their lives and everyone faces different circumstances so don't in any way think that I feel everyone should choose the same as me. I have friends that have gone home for deployments and I respect that. This answer is purely my answer based on my feelings of where my family is at right now and what is best for my family.
We are staying right where we are during this deployment as we did for the two previous ones. There are multiple reasons why. First of all, this is our home. My husband, my children and myself moved here over a year ago and this is where we consider home. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. We have made a life for ourselves here. My kids are happy in school, they have made some great friends here as I have too, we have an amazing church family, my sgo ladies are fabulous, and I love teaching my kid's church class. That's just a few of the things that make this home. Another reason is that I feel my kids have to be uprooted all too often. They have to leave friends behind and adjust to different schools enough that I don't want to add another move that isn't necessary. They do amazingly well with moving and seem to actually enjoy the experience, but it is stressful so why put them through it again. (Why put myself through it. Hehe) Thirdly, after this deployment we still have at least one more year here at Schofield. If I were to move back, we'd have to clear housing just to go through the whole moving process again to come back in a year. I certainly don't feel like being stuck in a hotel again while waiting on a house. Please don't take this last reason to heart or feel like I'm bashing anyone who does move back because there are clearly circumstances that make it best to move back. This is just how I feel about my family. My kids are old enough now that they have found their independance so I don't feel I need any help in taking care of them beyond what my friends that are here with me can provide. I don't very often ask anyone for help with my kids and never really have, except of course for my parents and my husbands mom. That really doesn't count though because more often than not they were the ones asking if they could have them even when we didn't have any reason for a sitter. Plus the fact that their are three of them and that's a lot to ask of someone to keep all of them. I should know. I'm the mom that would take them all with me everywhere. If I needed gas (no pay at the pump then) I would pump the gas, unbuckle all three of them, drag them into the gas station to pay, only to return to the car and buckle them all back in again. When we needed groceries, I was the mom with a full cart, a baby in the front of the cart and two little ones trying to go in different directions. Of course Trint helped when he could, but I usually did all this when he was at work or sleeping because he had the night shift. Off track...back to my answer. Again don't take this the wrong way, I don't feel there's anything wrong with having a sitter or having help with your kids. This is just how I feel for me. I've never faced a deployment with 3 kids at home all the time because by the time my husband joined the army two of our kids were already in school. I only had the youngest at home. By the time the second deployment rolled around all three of them were in school so I had me time to relax and regroup. This time our oldest is 13, turning 14 before dad gets home, so I can count on him to stay with the other two if necessary. My kids are awesome, they can pretty much do everything that it takes to run our house without me even here. They can cook, clean, do laundry, do dishes, mow the yard... Of course I always have to ask several times before these things usually get done, but if it came down to it, they are capable. When they see I don't feel well they usually pitch in with no complaints so if I were to get sick they would take care of everything, including me. So as you see, we have no reason to do anything else besides keep on living our lives on the beautiful island of Oahu.
Add to all of this that God is the center of our lives and it doesn't seem to be in His plans for my kids and I to move back. Really it's all about Him and what he has planned for us. I feel if it were in our best interest to be anywhere but here, then God would reveal to us what we needed to do. So for now, good or bad, Hawaii is stuck with the Guyett family! ;-)
This is such a great project, Shawna. Praying for your family. Love you all and thinking of you. Look forward to reading about the coming months!
ReplyDeleteI'm always telling Military spouses to do what is best for their families. For me it's about being in the "home" that I create with my husband. I want to be able to picture him in our kitchen, in our bedroom, standing in our doorway watching our kids play outside. I choose to stay in our home because I am comforted by the memories we create. Home is where we are together.
ReplyDeleteWe got asked this too and since we JUST moved, heck no we aren't moving. Not to mention the advantages of living near your post. Just being able to be right here when he comes home is incentive enough.
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