Emotions

When an army wife tells you that each and every deployment is different, they aren't even kidding. My husband hasn't even left yet and the emotional rollercoaster ride has already begun. I should have at least another week of sanity according to previous experience. You would think that after going through this twice already I would know what to expect. Instead, I really have no idea what to expect. I don't remember feeling this way before either of the past deployments, not at this point anyhow. I'm so not ready to take this on again. Part of me just wants to prolong these last couple weeks and the other part of me wants him to leave already and to get this over with. The sooner he leaves, the sooner he comes home. My emotions are all over the place. When he walks in the door after work each day, I'm so happy and greatful that he's still here. When he leaves for work each morning, it brings to reality that soon he will be walking out these doors and not coming back at the end of the day. Then there's all our friends that ask "So, when's he leaving", on a regular basis, and friends that want to get together before he leaves. I know they just love us and that they care for us, but for me it's just another reminder of what's to come. Then we have all the preperations such as watching as my husband prepares his gear, making sure my vehicle is in tip top shape, poa's, explaining over and over to our kids why they need to make extra time for daddy in the coming days...the list just keeps going on. I just want to forget what's in store for us and live for today. Okay...so the fact of the matter is that it's coming...and coming quickly. Reality is that we joined the army and we knew full well that deployments were a part of it. I accept that and really I'm not complaining and I certainly don't want any sympathy. Things could be so much worse. We are a happy, healthy family and together, with God, we will get through this deployment with dignity, pride, and courage.

Deployments are different for every family. We all face different circumstances. For me, the hardest parts are the weeks leading up to the deployment and the dreaded day itself. I think it's just the unknown of not knowing what the next year will bring. However, once it's underway, the kids and I get into a routine, we keep very busy, and time goes by quickly. I just pray for an uneventful year of God's blessings and comfort for every service member of every branch and all their families who are on this journey.